Santa The Spymaster: What Watch Would He Actually Wear?

Would St. Nick Opt For A Diver, GMT, Or A Chronograph On The Big Night?

While you may think of Santa Claus as an overweight yet jolly friend to children everywhere, there is more to St. Nick than meets the eye. Santa is a spymaster. This is a man who keeps tabs on all of the world’s children from the safety of the North Pole through a complex intel network primarily staffed by elves, some real 1984 stuff if you ask me. Utilizing a covert influence campaign, Santa convinces us this dystopian reality is not only ok but that we should cherish it, altering our daily behavior to win his favor and access to his fat sack of toys.

One night a year, Santa suits up in a full tactical holiday loadout. Santa makes surreptitious entry into millions of homes with military-like precision. The original Yuletide Gangster. Like clandestine operators from the world of intelligence or SpecOps, Santa is screwed if the operation is compromised by some kid straight off the naughty list posting him to TikTok with a mouth full of cookies and milk. Luckily, St. Nick’s tradecraft is tight.

vintage rolex christmas advertisement watches of espionage

Vintage Rolex Xmas ad, World War II - 1942 (Rolex Magazine)

Given the nature of his work, Santa Claus is mission-focused and subscribes to the Use Your Tools ethos. At W.O.E., we know Santa also puts a lot of thought into which timepiece to bring into action on the big night. To avoid ubiquitous technical surveillance (UTS), Father Christmas can’t be rolling out with an Apple Watch. He can’t risk being tracked across the night sky by NORAD and intercepted by F-22s. With kids around the world safely snoring in bed trusting Santa to come through, the stakes couldn’t be higher. Everything, including Santa’s watch, has to be good to go.

In this special holiday Dispatch, we’ll have some fun and unseriously recommend a few timepieces providing legitimate utility to the big man from the North Pole. If any of you disagree with our picks or have suggestions of your own, let the holiday spirit flow through you right into the comments section.

Breitling Emergency II

Sneaking into millions of peoples’ homes while they sleep. A worldwide network of clandestine elves monitoring your every move. A flying sleigh. The entire concept is sketchy. As we have proven many times, sketchy dudes wear Breitling. We don’t make the rules. For St. Nick, the right Breitling for the job was always going to be the Emergency II, the modern successor to the legendary Emergency that became favored by SpecOps and intelligence professionals during the ‘90s and early 2000s.

The Emergency is a digital quartz-powered timepiece, meaning Santa is going to get all of the multi-timezone and timing functions he could ever need or want. And if the worst should happen and an adversarial entity somehow shoots Santa out of the cool night sky, the Emergency still has its position indicating radio beacon, meaning his team of Pararescue elves will be able to locate and recover Santa in time to save the day.

Rolex GMT-Master II “Coke” 16710

If it ain’t a sketchy Breitling, our next pic for Santa is going to have to be a Rolex GMT, specifically the GMT-Master II “Coke” 16710. We have often called the GMT-Master family the perfect CIA Case Officer’s watch, offering easy tracking of multiple timezones as well as durability while also looking the part in virtually every scenario. As far as we know, Santa isn’t on the Agency’s payroll, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a master of espionage and exactly the right type of guy for a GMT-Master.

Details matter. You’ll notice we’ve selected an older reference 16710 with a red and black “Coke” bezel. This is not only to match Santa’s suit but also a sure sign Santa isn’t following hype culture and reaching for the newest ceramic bezel variants from the Crown. A dude who measures his life in centuries ain’t got time for hype.

Omega Speedmaster Professional Moonwatch

Given Santa’s high-altitude sleigh-riding escapades, we can’t help but wonder whether Mr. Claus relies on any kind of supplemental oxygen. Up there, he’s more or less a Yuletide astronaut, and that element, combined with the importance of speed as Christmas Eve turns into Christmas Day, means the Omega Speedmaster is a perfect choice for jolly old St. Nick. To fit the watch over his big red suit, we’d imagine Santa would equip his Speedmaster with a Five Eye Nylon strap. Utility is everything.

In addition to its low-pressure resistance, the Speedmaster’s chronograph functionality would also come in handy when you consider that Santa needs to move from house to house with the quickness to get the job done. A watch that proved itself both on the Moon as well as on Apollo 13 when a Speedy was used to time a crucial engine burn to get the astronauts back to Earth safely, the Speedmaster is also no stranger to high-stakes operations, exactly the kind of thing you need when you have exactly one night to spread Christmas cheer to all of the good girls and boys.

G-Shock DW6900-1V

A watch commonly issued to the SpecOps community including US Navy SEALs, we’d argue a regular old G-Shock would also be rugged enough for Santa’s holiday ops. Despite what you may think about Santa being more of an aviation guy, we’d wager Santa has graduated from several specialized pipelines in his lengthy career as an Arctic operator. To remain hidden, who’s to say Santa doesn’t have to conduct the occasional combat dive followed by an over-the-beach infiltration?

In any case, the G-Shock is up for it, with chronograph, elapsed time, secondary time zone, and alarm functions to make sure Santa hits each house precisely on time. Whether it’s chimneys, trees, sleigh-riding, or general covert operations, the G-Shock is durable and, even if it is damaged, easily and cheaply replaced, not that St. Nick is afraid of spending a few bucks to keep up his watch game.

Tudor Pelagos FXD GMT

There’s also a chance St. Nick subscribes to the theory and practice of Tudors Of Espionage (T.O.E.). One of the leaders of the modern Unit Watch scene, Tudor has produced special versions of its Pelagos collection for Tier One SpecOps units, the US Secret Service Counter Assault Team, and the French Commando Hubert. Whether Santa would go for a customized Tudor or not is unclear (maybe Rudolph on the caseback?), but we think the new Pelagos FXD GMT is a great option nonetheless.

For one, the FXD’s fixed lug design means Santa won’t lose the thing in a tussle, and the addition of GMT functionality is also a plus. 200 meters of water resistance is great for peace of mind, and the fully lumed dial and bezel are going to be great for Christmas Eve work. The titanium case is also a great option as Santa agonizes over every gram to keep his sleigh as lightweight and speedy as possible.

IWC Pilot's Watch Chronograph 41 TOP GUN

Another brand with close ties to our community and military aviation in particular, an IWC would also be a perfect choice for Santa. Though he may not be a graduate of the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, we’d argue that with centuries of high-speed flying chops aboard his magical sleigh, St. Nick is as qualified a pilot as any.

Many of the aspects that make a great pilot’s watch also make it a solid choice for Santa. Legibility is there, especially in the dark. The lightweight and durable ceramic case is also handy. And, of course, having a chronograph is great for timing a team of elves that is often getting into mischief. Drip is also key, and the subtle red highlights on the dial match Santa’s fit to a T.

Seriously, W.O.E.? Watches For Santa?

If you made it this far, thanks for sticking with us. One of our goals at W.O.E. is to never take ourselves too seriously, balancing the hard-hitting historical pieces of profiles with the odd fun article when and where it makes sense. If you laughed, great. If you didn’t, that’s ok and please be sure to leave a snarky comment down below.

The past year has been big for W.O.E. We added our first full-time team member, started a YouTube Channel, and produced more articles than ever before. With that said, we have a ton in store for 2025 we can’t wait to share with y’all. I know we say it all the time, but we truly couldn’t do any of this with you. Thanks again and happy holidays.

If you enjoyed this article, please consider signing up for our weekly free newsletter for further updates HERE.